Well, I can't even begin to tell you how much I laughed at my extensive postbag this month - keep them coming.

This month we are concentrating on some interesting case histories...

"It's not every day you see a scrotum that size," recalled William A. Morton, a retired Pennsylvanian urologist. "It was twice the size of a melon, black and blue, and it stank. The patient told me that he'd injured himself a month earlier in the machine shop where he worked. I nearly passed out when he told me he ‘knew enough about doctoring to close the wound with a heavy-duty stapling gun’. Later I removed eight rusty one-inch staples from the scrotum, and reconnected the stump of his spermatic cord, although the left testis was missing.

"After the operation , the patient broke down, and confessed what had really happened. Apparently, he used to masturbate in his lunch hour by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a machine, but had lost concentration one day and leaned too close to the belt. His scrotum had been caught between the pulley and the drive belt, and he ended up being thrown across the workshop, and straight through a windows. Too stunned to realise that he had lost a testicle, he stapled up the wound and resumed work.

"He assured me that he would abandon this method of self-gratification from now on, and buy a sex doll. Sorry, but I think he needs psychiatric help."

(Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality, July 1991.)

This was taken from the Alameda County District Attorney's Office publication
"The Point of View" In a murder trial, the defence attorney was cross-examining a pathologist. Here's what happened:

ATTORNEY: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
. ATTORNEY: Did you listen to the heart?

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, when you signed the death certificate you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?

CORONER: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practising law somewhere.
If you have any sensitive personal problems (particularly ones of a sexual nature) please E-mail Dr. Bunnyballs c/o the Editor, Peter Strong's Home Page. All replies will be treated with the utmost confidentiality. Honestly.