Scott Report Latest - Tories Slammed

In a damning interview last Thursday the Tories were slammed for being "A bunch of thieving bastards" following the publication of the Scott report.

The exclusive interview took place early on Thursday evening at the King's Head, Earls Court, London. The source, a gentleman who called himself only "Brian", in order to preserve his identity, continued : "They all ought to be put up against the wall and shot, they should." When pressed further he admitted that he had not actually seen the report himself, but that a mate had been listening to the news that afternoon on the radio at the building site where "Brian" is employed as a consultant. "But don't you go spreading that around to the DSS of nuffin'", he finished.

Conspiracy theorist will no doubt make much of the fact the informant was later savagely attacked as he left the pub, by two Scottish sounding gentleman who were heard commenting "we saw you looking at our girl, you bastard". The gentlemen, who clearly use the codeword "Girl" to refer to the Scott report, are reliably tipped as being members of MI5, according to a barmaid I was chatting up.

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